I am going to try and come up with 30 things (goals) I would like to do in my 30s. This is a list I have compiled over the past 8 months or so. I can't guarantee it's fluidity but here it is:
To start off right (and in pattern)
*30 random acts of kindness.
Large or small I am always passing up opportunities to do something nice for a stranger. Not because I don't want to! Life is busy, I'm always in a hurry it seems, or my introvert side comes out and the thought of bringing attention to myself or approaching a stranger is somewhat frightening. I am one who will take care of others before me, and I will suffer if it means someone else will gain from it. But the acts I am going to focus on are things like; pay for a strangers meal/groceries, give someone a ride, help a homeless pet, etc. Maybe I will keep a list of ideas just so I can have a constant reminder to make the extra effort. I think I will start by making homeless goody bags with things in it like toothpaste, snacks, dog food, socks, etc. and put them in my car so I have something to give when I pass someone in need.
Not to say I always pass up the opportunity to help out if it arises. For example, lately I am for some reason quite prone to being in the right place at the right time when it comes to people having car/motorcycle trouble and need a push.
Which brings me to my next 2 "to dos" on my list.
*Have conversations with people I don't know.
Come out of my shell. I can't say I don't work on this daily. I am capable of putting myself out there and I do on a regular basis. But for some reason approaching someone I don't know and simply introducing myself is tough for me. I am commonly mislabeled as "stuck up" because... I dunno, my lack of confidence and nerves makes me also unapproachable? I have considered going back to waitressing. And not just for some extra cash. When I worked as a waitress as a teen I had more confidence than ever in my life. It helped mold me into who I am today, but some of that has withered away as time passes. I'd like to regain some of that.
*Slow down, enjoy today.
This is more of a goal than something I can "do" but it's something I need to constantly remind myself of. I get so wrapped up in the "to dos" I forget to stop and breath. I need to get my priorities straight and allow my mind to stop worrying and start enjoying what life has to offer; my family, nature, love/affection, and everything that makes me smile. And a lot less time worrying about things I can't control, what tomorrow might bring. Maybe (just maybe) even take fewer pictures. As we played at the park yesterday I, as always, asked the kids to stop what they were doing so I could take a picture. Not that I am opposed to candid/action shots it's just hard to get a clear shot with a cell phone sometimes. Gage asked, "why do you always have to take pictures!?" I proceeded to tell him it was so he could see himself doing things at different points of his life and so we could all remember these times and asked if that was the way he really felt, if he really didn't want his picture taken. This kid is no different to the others, always asking to see old pictures of him or requesting I film him doing something, so it surprised me. Maybe I just don't need to take pictures quite so much.
As I type away Kensey proves my point, from the next room she's asking when I will be done so we can play some card games.
To be continued...
And to go against what I was just saying.
*buy a professional grade camera.
I do not intend to carry a huge camera everywhere we go. But I would love to have something that will take quality photos of my growing children on special occasions as well as fulfill my desires of taking up photography as a hobby. I want to take pictures of the sunset as if the viewer was actually there.
*take a photography/Photoshop class.
It wouldn't do much good to just take a bunch of pictures with a camera I don't really know how to use to its full potential or understand how to properly edit to make things pop. I want a work of art!
*be a better wife.
Josh and I have an amazing, loving relationship. Our past together as well as separate has built us up to be great communicators. We approach each other gently and honestly and never let things boil inside us. We are so in sync sometimes it's scary. He will say exactly what I am thinking. But those few times we do disagree we strive to be understanding of each other. We enjoy each other's company above all else. Our favorite things to do together is cook, experience the outdoors, work out, cuddle up on the couch at night after the kids have all gone to bed to watch our favorite show. Quite a while ago I read that it shows true love and affection when you are willing to give the last bite of your food. Sounds silly, but it proves that the other person and their desires will always come before your own. I have always made a point to let him finish off anything we share. It means I love you more than myself. And I always save the best for last. ;) When we first got together 4 years ago we discussed that if he puts me before himself and I put him before myself there will never be a reason to think selfishly because our needs will always be taken care of by the other. We both give 100%. nothing is mine and his, it's ours. I am truly the luckiest woman to have his love.
Some things I could work on are; Put my phone down. He deserves my full attention. I have always struggled with doing things like watching TV and talking on the phone at the same time. My friends that have known me for some time can contest to this. And ever since having kids I have trained my brain to block out noise. It keeps me sane. I am able to better focus on the thing directly in front of me. The fault here is I am not able to separate what is more important at times, and I am not referring to screaming children in pain. When I am playing a game, browsing the internet, reading, or texting on my phone it's hard to have a conversation with me. I'm already trying to do better in this area when Josh is looking for my full attention, whether it be a simple question, wanting to unwind after work, or discuss something at hand, I am more aware but I still need to do better.
I need to show more intimacy. A man can never have enough of it and mine is no exception. I heard of a challenge a happy couple suggested to another couple who was struggling. Have sex, be intimate (hold hands, kiss for at least 20 seconds, talk meaningfully) every day for 1 month. Sounds like a good way to start. We used to be big on PDA. Not sure what happened...? Just getting caught up in everyday life I guess, trying to keep the kids under control. It's something he really loves and I need to make a point on showing my love for him no matter where we are or what's going on.
I used to wake up early in the morning with him to drink a cup of coffee, just to get a few extra minutes with him. I have discovered Coffee makes me sick to my stomach, which is a bummer because Josh just might love Coffee more than me even. Not really, but it's up there! And sleep is something I thoroughly enjoy and quite frankly need, possibly more than any average person. But I know it would mean the world to him if I could just get up so he could give me a proper goodbye before leaving to work. A common question he asks is if I remember him hugging me goodbye that morning. Usually I can only faintly recall. It is something I love that he does and I should show him by returning the gesture.
Love letters. One thing he still holds against me is how little I wrote him letters when he first joined the Army. He's kept every one. The first 2 years of our new relationship was spent long distance. I made a point to write him letters just so he would get a nice surprise reminder that I love him. Since moving to Colorado to be with him there have been a couple of random occasions I left him a note on the mirror or in his car. I would like to show him I love him in more ways and more often.
Everyone should always strive to be a better partner, everyone.
Which in part leads me to...
*keep a clean(er) house.
I would love for Josh to come home each day to a stress free environment. He helps out where he can without complaint and never tells me what I should be doing more of or better. He's a tremendous help and support but I want more for him and my family. It also helps my sanity. I am hoping this will come as my children grow and can help out some. I think that's what I need to get serious about. I keep saying I'm going to make a chore chart for the kids but have yet to accomplish that. They are not the best at following direction and with after school activities and homework there isn't much time for anything else. I don't want to take every second of their free time. It's already slim to none right now. I've wanted to implement an allowance. They work really well for $. Gage does like to clean up dog poop and take the trash out and MJ will "do the dishes", not that anything actually gets done. I've tried making myself a chore chart. It's easier when certain things are assigned to certain days so I don't feel like I'm doing everything at once and the house stays clean. Really it's not so much the clean part it's the clutter and just excessive things. When we move this summer I do plan to purge a LOT of unused things. My list usually does its job for a couple of weeks then I get behind on 1 day and the whole thing comes crashing down. I get discouraged, things get out of control till someone wants to come over and I clean better and faster in those few minutes than I have all week. And the cycle continues till I get enough motivation to start all over. It gets exhausting, especially with so many people to clean up after. But that is the life of a house wife and I need to get it together.
*Be a better, more loving mother.
Sometimes I get stuck on rules and routine I forget to do the little things kids see as love. And I don't mean the I love yous, hugs and kisses, and holding hands, we do plenty of that. For example; my kids are always asking me to make them a lunch for school. I haven't always seen the logic in this when the school here provides them lunch at no cost. But this is one small gesture/expense that I think they would love for me to do for them. Even to add a little note in their lunch box saying something nice about them would be wonderful. Or MaryJane asks me to sing for her at night, and I do when she is feeling extra sad but on most nights I just brush it aside cause I don't like my singing or it's the end of a long day and all I want to do it relax on the couch with my husband who I haven't seen all day. It really shouldn't matter how I'm feeling, if she asks me to the answer should be yes. I have no real good reason not to. I love my children to the ends of this earth. Sometimes I think there is no way any other person could love another human being more. I must love my kids more than the average mother even. I would love to find little ways out of the ordinary to show them that every day. To bring more love and affection into our home, maybe (just maybe) they would show more love towards each other as well...
*Take better care of me.
Make a point to get clean and ready every day. Life as a SAHM gets busy. Always taking care of everyone and everything else but me. Sometimes a day of doing nothing is nice. But I think It would help myself worth if I made a point to designate an hour every day to myself and my hygiene and pampering needs. Not that I am saying I let myself go by any means. But I remember the days when I would die if I went a day without a shower or to be seen in public without makeup or to wear the same shirt more than once before being washed. Those days are long gone.
I have some habits I could do without. Like picking my fingers, toes, skin. There's a name for that and I think I am bordering a disorder. It sounds gross now that I'm reading it back to myself... This is something I am pretty sure, even if he doesn't say it, Josh is not a fan of. Old habits die hard.
*Run/bike/swim in a race.
Get back into shape. Not like I was when I was 18 because that me is long gone. Having children has changed me forever, but to find the new healthy fit mom me, and more importantly maintain it! I don't hate my body. I have proof of my biggest most beautiful accomplishments and I embrace the change. I do go back and forth on getting my belly button and boobs "fixed". It would only be for myself, which don't get me wrong is important, but Josh loves... no yearns, raptures, hankers for my body so I know I'm doing something right. Working out with Josh is fun and always brings on those natural endorphins. Makes me happier and creates more opportunity for intimacy.
But to be in shape for me means more than that. I want to run (and I mean run) a marathon or even better participate in a triathlon! It would be a huge accomplishment and I would feel a great deal of pride if I could train and complete something like that. I have not always enjoyed running, it is something I have grown to love. I am pretty sure by completing one race I would become an addict of sorts. I imagine it's a pretty awesome feeling!
*Learn to play the piano.
I attempted to learn music on a couple different occasions throughout my school years, but it never really stuck. I get the FACE and Every Good Boy Does Fine but I also understand there is much more to it than that. I enjoyed learning to play music on the piano and would practice for hours to learn a song but it was always taught to me by someone and memorized by heart. I would love to be able to pull out a sheet of music and know how to play it. You're never too old to learn new tricks, right. Josh has also shown an interest in doing this so it might be a fun thing for us to learn together and even teach our children if we get good enough at it.
*take a couples dance class.
This is something Josh is not too thrilled about I think. But I've noticed it is something that has come up here and there a few times throughout our 4 yrs so we may as well do it. It would make for an interesting date night!
*create a place of zen.
I love LOVE the outdoors. If I could build a house or let's call it a shelter of glass or something to resemble the outdoors I would be in heaven every day of my life! Now I do enjoy privacy and I am a fan of enclosed spaces, it makes me feel secure, but I dream of having an open living space. Even if I could have 1 room, like a sun room where I could look outside and see trees, rain, flowers, and wild animals in the warmer months and watch the snow glitter down from the sky in the colder ones (cause I really think you have not seen nature till you have seen it in every season, one reason I love Utah!). It relaxes me to be outside. I would love an area in my garden where it was cool and bright surrounded in vegetation and the sounds of nature. My dream location would be somewhere a little less populated, near the mountains, full of mature trees, where I could take a leisure walk along a creek, river, lake. I have come to realize I am just a happier person after spending time outdoors. I smile more and am more energetic. This is a must have for me.
*Go back to school.
I would love to be a professional of something and expand my mind. I made some poor decisions following high school. I passed up a full scholarship to Dixi College then I quit SLCC after only 1 semester of classes. If I had advice for any new high school graduate it would be to stay in school! Don't "take a break" because life will take you away and you'll be 30 before you know it! To think I could be working towards my MD by now. I can't say I regret any of my life decisions because that would indicate I regret what my life has become. Believe me I do NOT! I am unbelievably happy with where my life has taken me. To think how different it would be had I continued with my education from the start? There is no going back, we must move forward so regret has no place here.
Ultimately I would love to be a CNM (Certified Nurse Midwife) I love birth and everything about it! It is my passion. Hence is why I keep popping out those babies... LOL. No, but really I am not sure I will ever not be baby hungry. I am actually not a fan of being pregnant but there is something about birth that makes me giddy. It's this miraculous thing that results in something even more miraculous. And babies are my favorite of all my favorite things!
*adopt.
I have planned for this since I started planning. Like seriously something I have always dreamed of doing. I want to open my heart and my home to a child in need. Whether we decide it to be a baby, child, or young adult. Disabled, interracial, or siblings. Foster care or international. So many many kids that could use a family to support them through life. I wish more loving families would do this one thing. We could change the world!
*become debt free and have a fully funded emergency fund.
After years of the best intentions we have finally started the Dave Ramsey plan. We aren't too far off of debt free already but we are going to start, "living like no one else so later we can live like no one else". I hope to teach our children how to handle money so that when we die and leave them to our nest egg they will be responsible with how they handle it. I want them to have full successful lives. To give and save and spend with intent. It's nice when you tell your money what to do instead of it telling you what to do! I would love to change our family tree. Money is not everything! But it sure helps... ;)
*Travel to a place I have never been.
We love to travel! There are so many places on my list of places to see. But I think on the top of that list would be Europe. I want to see the places Josh lived and was born, where my family was raised, all the beautiful places you only see in pictures. I want to be there!
I would also love to see all that Utah has to offer. Moab WILL be happening ASAP. Crazy to think of all the places that have been right in my back yard that I have yet to visit. This list could really get extensive!
Something else I would love to do is take my children to Hawaii. Josh and I call this our special place. It is where we really fell in deep unconditional love. It's just so beautiful! I want my children to get a taste of paradise.
*Go on a cruise
Maybe for our 10 year anniversary. I would love to renew our vows and have a second honeymoon. Our first go was very small. I would love to make a bigger deal of our union and celebrate our success.
I don't even care where it takes us but Australia/New Zealand or Cozumel Mexico would be amazing!
*Make service a part of my (and my families) life.
A couple things I have kept in mind that I think would humble my children and hopefully instill some values are to give. I want to take the kids to volunteer at a soup kitchen or food bank. To see that what they have is not owed or handed to anyone. I also heard of a family that canceled Christmas. Not in the literal terms but the kids got no gifts from Santa/Mom/Dad. Instead they took what money they would have spent on them and helped out families in need. The children played a big part in the giving and actually enjoyed it and never felt cheated out of anything. They did other activities to spread Christmas cheer and not to say they got nothing, they still received gifts from other family members. But they focused more on giving than receiving. I really think this would be an amazing lesson!
*get THE tattoo.
I have been waiting a long time to get the tattoo I want. Pretty much the only tattoo I have ever wanted. I have 2 small ones that have great meaning but this one is something I have researched and planned for for years. I am waiting to finish having children first off because it will cover my entire side and I am unsure what a growing belly will do to it as well as it will symbolize my entire family so it needs to be whole. And I want to get down to the size I am happy with and able to maintain it so it can be accurate in size. I am so excited!
*take a diving/swimming class.
Something I always look at in awe is people who dive professionally. I want to be that person. Not to say it will be my profession but it would just be a super cool skill to have. I have always loved to swim but no one has ever really taught me anything outside the basic skills. As a kid in a pool a race or who can hold their breath the longest was always my #1 request. I want to be able to do a beautiful butterfly. Cliff diving has always been a thrill to me as well so to be able to know how to land after doing a cool trick without hurting myself would be a super bonus!
*get certified to scuba dive.
Snorkeling is amazing! What else could top that other than scuba diving!? There are so many cool things to see out there and I want to be a part of it. To be completely honest the big vast ocean scares the shit out of me... but I want to conquer my fears and swim with mantas, check out some caves, see a ship wreck.
*Find the love I used to have for reading.
I don't think I have completed an actual book since before MaryJane was born (nearly 6 years). I've picked up a few but never read completely cover to cover. I just haven't had a lot of time. And the time I do have I guess I've chosen to do other things like mess around on Facebook or watch The Price is Right. I've listened to books on audio, but there is something about turning a book's pages that I find relaxing. I am somewhat of a book snob and like to own what I read and prefer hard cover. Reading wasn't something I really enjoyed when going to school so maybe I am just trying to make up for lost time. I used to stay up all night reading a good book I just couldn't put down. I'm not saying that is what I am looking for because mama knows mama needs her sleep these days. But if I could set aside an hr a day, maybe after dropping the kids off at school while the baby has her morning nap to sit down and read that would be wonderful. I also believe reading makes you smarter. I speak and write better now that I have found joy in reading.
*Make a new friend.
I'm meeting new people all the time and have made some amazing friends over the years. I have, what I would consider close, friends all over the country. Who I know would open their home to me if I ever came to town. But with the pending move back home this year I would love to expand my network and find more people close by who I can depend on. I know a lot of people but in all honesty only a handful of those who I can depend on to make me a priority. Family is important and it's busy! But it's nice to have someone who would drop what they are doing and make arrangements if you needed them, large or small. And to go along with this I need to make a point and stop what I'm doing and pick up the phone. Something so small and simple can go a long way. I will make it a goal to contact old friends more often!
*learn another language.
In high school I attempted German. I have family who live there and I always thought it would be cool to be able to visit some day and have a conversation with them. I forgot most of it but still have a good feel for how it works so I think I could pick it up pretty quick. But I am starting to think Spanish is the way to go. There are so so many Spanish speaking cultures around these days it would be nice to be able to speak to them and know what they are saying. I am a big advocate for learning the language of the country you live in. But, it would be a great aspect to have in business relations.
*Get my concealed permit.
First I need to own my own gun and learn it and learn it well. I am huge on gun safety but also know a weapon can come in handy. I am an advocate for the right to carry a fire arm but I do believe stricter laws need to be put in place for how guns are being handled and kept. It needs to be in a locked safe when not in use and never loaded and charged ready to go unless you intend on using it. I just heard about a 2 yr old killing his mother in Walmart by shooting her with her own gun. Who puts their purse with their loaded and charged gun in it next to their toddler!? It just blows my mind how stupid people can be. Not to say there aren't accident but pros outweigh the cons. I'm starting to get into a heated discussion that not all may agree with so I will just leave it alone. But this is something and one of the first things on this list that I plan to do.
*sky dive.
Is my life worth the risk... I've been asked when bringing this up. I could say the same thing about going to the store in my car. We take risks every day. This is one risk that so happens to be very thrilling. I love the adrenalin. I'd like to experience the fall at least once.
*Drive a motorcycle.
This plays in part with my love for the outdoors. I love having nothing else in mind but going for a ride. I enjoy being a passenger so I imagine being the driver is even better. I've driven a scooter, which is really nothing like a motorcycle, but I figure if it's even close to being as fun I'm going to have a blast.
*flip a house/invest in real estate.
Josh and I have been discussing real estate a lot. We really need to get driven about this and move on it. There is a lot of money to be had, and I want some of it! We have talked about me going to realtor school and he will get an appraisers license so we can make some good deals and do a lot of our buy and sell in house. This is something still in the works as far as planning goes but it's something we both have a big desire to do.
*find a hobby I enjoy
I have always said I need a hobby. I have never had a "thing" that was mine that I could pour my whole heart into. I enjoy a lot of things but nothing that I keep up. This past year I have found a love for painting. I would love for this to become something to just fill some time. It allows me some me time. I don't want to paint to sell just for fun and for my own enjoyment. It isn't a huge investment either so I think this is definitely something I want to get involved in.
10 years is a long time but it will also go by very quickly. All of these things may or may not get accomplished. This is only meant to help me remember to take a moment and live, do something I love instead of just getting through the day. I am also open to change, so this list is not by any means binding. ;)
