The Birth Story of Molly Paige Hardman

This is a detailed story about the birth of our baby girl Miss Molly Paige. She is the perfect addition to our blended family. She is Mom's 4th baby and Dad's 2nd but our first together. And we could not be more in love with our family!!

The night of Sept 18th contractions increased to every 20 minutes and started to feel like they were making some progress. It had been over a week since my contractions upgraded from Braxton hicks to what I would consider false labor. It made me anxious for things to get going. I have never gone into labor before my due date and this time I could have swore was going to be different. I was wrong... It was already a week past my LMP due date and 3 days after the Dr.'s estimate based on baby's growth (which I thought was a pretty good guess based off past pregnancies). So to go days past it I was starting to consider the possibility that I was going to be pregnant forever.

My mom and dad came to Colorado Springs from SLC, Utah to help get things set up and ready to go almost 3 weeks ago. So we are all getting a bit anxious at this point. My dad has already postponed his planned trip back home. He was supposed to start a training class that Monday. But we had some flooding in the basement due to heavy rain the previous week so he decided it best he stayed to help. And I am so glad he did! He made everything so much more manageable! I don't know what I would have done without both my mom and dad here to help! Most of all they helped keep me sane. Considering the situation I was and have been able to stay in high spirits.

My husband (Josh) has been deployed for over 2 months now. We have really missed him being home with us! The little life inside me has grown a lot since he last felt her kicks. There hasn't been a time I wished he were here with us more than now. I wish he could be here to comfort and support me in what's to come. He has been on stand by for days and is getting more and more anxious. We are lucky to have the technology available over seas that we do today. We will be able to Skype him in for the birth so in a sense he will be there. Because of our circumstances we are able to benefit from a program called Operation Special Delivery (OSD). I have been blessed to have met my doula (Emmy) through this program. It had to be fate for our names to be so similar. ;) Our first and middle are only spelled differently and our last names are off by 2 letters, imagine that! She is so sweet and willing to help. She has already driven 40 minutes each way on a couple occasions just to come and check on me and make sure we had a plan. All without asking for a single penny. I hope that some day I am able to return the favor in one way or another!

That night the rain had finally let up so I decided to head out after the kids went to bed and walk a bit around the neighborhood. For some reason walking changes the way my contractions feel, and not in the way you'd think. They will get closer together but they seem to weaken to the point where I am unsure if I am feeling a contraction or if the baby is just stretching. So after a few laps around the circle I came in to relax. Things seemed to slow down and became less predictable. I decided to head to bed and get what rest I could, I knew the time was near! I had very un-restful sleep. I was dreaming about having contractions or... wait, was that real? I am not sure how often contractions were waking me but it went on all night. I only fully came to once at 3am after a pretty strong one. But I was pretty tired and disoriented, I just went back to bed.

When my alarm went off that morning at 6am, Sept. 19th (Thursday), to get the kids up for school I continued on my normal routine. I got the kids up and fixed them breakfast. Then I sat down to relax while they ate and decided to start timing my contractions. They were about 10 minutes apart, give or take a minute or 2, so they still weren't what I considered consistent. But they were increasing in intensity and I had some bloody show so I went ahead and sent a text to my doula and photographer (Amy) to give the heads up, today is the day! :)

Emmy immediately sent a text back letting me know she was getting up and ready to go and was on her way. Amy let me know she was calling for the sitter (her husband) to head home so she would be ready to roll. Finally it's sinking in that this is really happening. I messaged Josh on Facebook like I do every morning. It was the end of his work day in Kuwait. I told him it's go time, so he headed to his designated spot they already had all set up for him so he could be alone to watch the birth. I decided to keep the kids home from school so there was one less thing to worry about. I continued timing my contractions. By the time Emmy got to the house it was 9am and nothing had changed, still 10 minutes apart. After sitting for a bit we decided to go for a walk. If anything it was just nice to have her as a walking buddy. We walked around the circle a couple of times. Right off I had a couple contractions that increased to every 5 minutes or so but were pretty weak. Then they seemed to stop. So we came back in and I sat/rocked/bounced on the birthing ball for a few and still more nothing. I sat a bit and did a couple things around the house like put in some laundry just to keep moving. It took a bit but things seemed to be kicking back in again. Being that walking seemed to get things going right off we decided to head out for a longer walk this time and seeing what happened. It was about 11:30am. It was a beautiful day! We went to the park and walked around the lake. I only wish we took some pictures. It was a nice walk and I felt amazing and happy. I was ready, no fear! :)

I have gone through stages of feeling prepared for the birth and others of nervousness of the unknown or worse, the known. Natural child birth hurts! That's a given, everyone knows that even if you haven't experienced it yourself. But I feel like because I have done it once already, knowing what's to come made me more nervous at times this pregnancy than I was with my last. I am a stubborn woman so I knew I was going to follow through with my plan for a natural, non intervention delivery. When I set to doing or feeling a certain way if I can help it, it happens. So that's just what I have had to do. I've convinced myself that I am not afraid. I am ready to feel the empowerment. It really does make you feel like super woman!

By the time we got back to the house my leg muscles were twitching from the workout and I had noticed on the walk that my body was starting to tremble a bit but nothing too bad. Contractions were really all over the place some 10 minutes one was 7 minutes and one was even 20 minutes before having another. So Emmy and I were not really convinced quite yet. We discussed her possibly heading out to grab a bite while I lay down and got some rest if things didn't pick up after a bit. I sat on the couch some more... I'm glad she didn't leave cause contractions seemed to be picking up. Amy was getting anxious and so was I so we decided she should head over. It was about 1pm when she got to the house. We chatted for a few, Amy made the suggestion that I go check myself and see what kind of progress I've made. I was dilated to a 3 when I went to the Dr's the Friday before. So I went to the restroom and came out a bit shocked to have felt the baby's head covered with the membrane. I was too nervous to even really find the edge of my cervix after feeling that. But it was enough clarification that this baby is coming! But it was lunch time so my parents made some sandwiches. (Don't you just love that I can go from talking about checking my cervix to eating, lol) It was my plan to make sure I ate before heading to the hospital because I knew they wouldn't let me when I got there and who knows how long I would be in labor but I for some reason didn't want to eat. I had some cereal for breakfast first thing in the morning but haven't had anything since so I should be hungry. Well, it wasn't long after that that I really started to tremble. It was my body basically going into shock. I didn't feel nervous or anything so we knew it was just that the time was near and my body knew it. After having 2 contractions about 5 minutes apart we decided it was go time and we were heading to the hospital.

We loaded all 8 of us in the excursion and off we went. I called the sitter (Judy) to let her know we were on our way. As well as the hospital so they would have my chart ready. We dropped off the kids and got to the hospital at about 3pm. At this point I started losing track of time. Things were happening fast. They walked us back and stuck us all in a waiting room. I think we were all getting a bit nervous about getting to a room in time, or at least I was. I was also concerned about getting Josh up and going on Skype before things really started to happen. I had been sending him updates through Facebook chat all morning but there was no cell service in the hospital so he was probably wondering what was going on. I knew I had to go through triage first and get the 20 minutes of monitoring before I could even go to the delivery room so I was anxious to get things rolling. I am not sure how long we ended up waiting but I am going to say about 20 minutes went by before we saw a nurse to take me to triage. It was a tiny room so they only allowed 1 person to go with me for now. Emmy and I walked across the hall, I was instructed to get changed into whatever I wanted to wear and she would be right back. Right back to her was not right back to Emmy and I. Contractions where really starting to get intense at this point. Emmy was about ready to go out and get someone when the nurse finally came back. She checked my cervix... I'm at a 6. I was surprised I wasn't farther than that cause I knew that this baby was coming and coming soon. At this point I was really starting to tremble, you could see my legs shaking under the sheet. It was getting harder to relax through the contractions. The nurse hooked me up to all the monitors, put in a hep lock, asked me a few questions and left the room. She was very sweet and understanding but I sure wish she would move faster! ;)

After finishing up in there we found out we came just in time because they only had 1 more delivery room available. We walked right across the hall to the first room and I went straight for the bathroom as I requested someone get the others and my computer so we could get Josh up on Skype. It had to of been about 4pm at this point. While in the bathroom I had 4 contractions one right on top of the other. I started wondering if I was going to make it out of there. When I came out the nurse had to ask me more questions to finish getting me admitted. It was extremely hard getting through all that and I could feel my patience waning. I had a couple contractions standing as Emmy used counter pressure on my hips. Then I sat down on the bed. Now things really get blurry. I remember the nurse mentioning she wanted me to get on the monitors again, My initial reaction was, you want me to what!? (yeah right), I really didn't want to! But Emmy started to blow up the birthing ball so I could sit on that next to the monitors in hopes it would be more comfortable than the bed. Sequence of events may not be accurate. But I started saying that I felt the urge to push. The nurse had left the room already so I am not sure who or if someone went out to get someone but I remember everyone coming in, rolling in a table of supplies, and kinda rushing around. The nurse checked me and clarified that I was ready to have a baby. Now this is the point where I had anticipated a bit of a panic moment for myself. I was nervous for the crowning part and the pain I might experience. One thing this experience has taught me is to never have expectations for birth, because no 2 will be exactly the same. Contractions where already worse than I had anticipated so getting the baby out was all I could think about. I was so out of it I had no fear of what was about to happen. All the while Josh is watching from the bedside table, my parents are on the other side in the chairs, Emmy is doing what she can to ensure I am comfortable, and Amy is all around with her equipment trying to get the best shots/angle. The midwife came in and introduced herself and asked how I would like to deliver. I had no clue! I just knew I was not moving. So sitting up in the bed it was. She started to prep the bed and herself. It felt better to push with the contraction just as my body was urging, so I did. first push and my water broke, no it exploded! I was quite shocked. Everyone tells me I had a classic look on my face as I exclaimed, "MY WATER BROKE!". After getting clarification that all was normal (as normal can be). Next contraction I pushed again, out popped the head, and it didn't even hurt! The midwife had just gotten her gloves on and flew across the room to help ease out baby. She kept saying don't push but I couldn't stop. The shoulders came out and I reached down, grabbed my baby and pulled her out and up onto my chest. WOW! that was amazing! It was 4:32 pm. I held her up to the computer so Dad could see and announce the gender. IT'S A GIRL! :) I glanced over at dad and could see him wiping tears.

If you have kept up with this blog you know that I have been stressing over the fact that I wouldn't know who my midwife was until I arrived at the hospital. I had anticipated having some time to discuss my desires with her upon my arrival. But with things happening so fast I hadn't spoken more than a couple sentences to her. One being, "I don't want the baby to get the prophylactic eye ointment!, State law or no state law!" And I asked her not to drop the bed down after telling her I had no plans as far as a birthing position goes. This is another thing I learned. I thought I would be able to decide what I wanted at the time it was needed based on how I felt. I was wrong. If it was not for my midwife reading my birth plan attached to my chart a lot of my desires would have been regrettably lost. I was in no state of mind to be making decisions/requests I was unsure of. I was a bit zoned out and having a hard time thinking about anything past the pain of the contractions. I honestly had no clue the baby was even out as far as she was when the midwife told me to reach down and grab my baby. I think my inner monolog was a bit chaotic there towards the end but everyone told me they had no idea. Apparently I hide pain rather well. ;) I could not have been happier with my experience! I can say the only thing I ended up getting due to "standard procedure" that I initially asked, not without argument, not to have was the Pitocin. Emmy was really on top of it, watching everything going on, she knew it wasn't something I had wanted. She pointed out what they were giving me and I just shrugged it off. Although I don't believe I ended up getting the full dose after I asked if I could take the IV out because the fluid was freezing cold. They knew I was not about to bleed to death as an earlier midwife had told me would happen if I didn't get it (eye roll). Not to say it is not sometimes necessary I just don't believe it should be administered to everyone. I only wanted them to wait and see if I really needed it.

After the midwife finished up the kids were invited in. We called Judy just as I started pushing so the kids would be there to meet their baby sister. I had tried to get Kensey to come for the time my parents were there so she could be there to welcome her first biological sibling but it didn't work out. We are missing her terribly! But the other 3 were so excited that Paige was finally here! Jack had told Judy that he would only like him/her if it was cute... I thought the boys might be a bit disappointed to see she was a girl as they had hoped for a boy. But they were all so happy! Jackson's first words were, "awww she's so cute!" It's a good thing. ;) Gage kinda stood back and just observed for a little bit, which is so like him, with all the commotion going on and cameras he's not one to draw attention to himself. MaryJane was interested but not willing to hold her quite yet. When she gets in emotional situations she tends to shut down a bit and won't talk much. Jackson was all over it! He was ooing and ahing, rubbing and kissing her head. All 3 of them had a look about their face. It was instant sibling love. When the baby was taken over to the warming table to be weighed and measured the kids followed. She was 7 pounds 15 ounces and 20 inches long. The kids watched the nurse do her foot prints and helped give her a bath before everyone got there turn to cuddle her. Gage was so excited to hold her. Then he was able to be the one to push her in her bassinet to the recovery room. He was feeling pretty cool! Then Jackson got his turn to hold her. MaryJane didn't want to hold her till we got home but since then she is always asking. She's such a huge help and a natural little mommy!

Recovery was painless and easy for baby and mom. I did have a 2nd degree tear that was repaired but I hardly noticed. The baby had pooped immediately after birth and about 3 more times after that before even going to the recovery room. So we knew things were working properly. She nursed only minutes after her arrival and has been going strong. All her scores where high, her color was pink and perfectly beautiful! <3 We went home the very next day. And I was happy for that. It was a bit lonely in the hospital. I had a few visitors (Kelly, Stephanie, and Misty) but I spent the majority of the time just miss Molly Paige and I. Josh and I had tried to Skype that morning (Colorado time) but there just wasn't a good enough connection to get any conversation in. He at least got to see a little of his baby girl though. :) My parents were taking care of the big kids and picking up the last few things we needed to bring the baby home. I missed the kids and a comfy bed. The day after her birth Josh had a flag flown at Camp Patriot in Kuwait in her honor. They had a ceremony, folded and presented the flag with a certificate. Representing the sacrifices Josh, Molly Paige and our family go through in this military life... <3 Could not be happier! My heart is over flowing!! <3

Molly Paige Hardman from Amy O'Neal on Vimeo.

Another concern I had leading up to the birth was post partum depression. With Josh being gone it was a big concern because I am used to having the baby blues so I knew it was a real possibility. I did my research and decided anything was worth a try to head off even the chance of feeling the way many women do after birth. If this is something you want to hear about, maybe would like to try, definitely get in touch with me! :) So many benefits! and it works!!